Why Naming Feelings Matters
Helping Kids Build Emotional Language
When kids struggle to describe how they feel, emotions can show up through behavior instead. Outbursts, withdrawal, or irritability often signal feelings that don’t yet have words. Helping children name their emotions gives them the tools to express what’s going on inside instead of acting it out.
In child therapy, we often see that learning emotional language is a turning point in growth. When children can identify their emotions, they begin to understand their inner world, which builds self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation.
The Science Behind Naming Emotions
Research consistently shows that labeling emotions reduces emotional intensity and helps regulate the nervous system. In a landmark study published in Psychological Science, Lieberman et al. (2007) found that when people name their feelings, the brain’s amygdala activity decreases, while the prefrontal cortex, the part that’s responsible for reasoning and control, becomes more active. In other words, saying “I feel angry” actually calms the brain’s emotional response.
For children, this process supports developing the pathways needed for emotional control. Studies from the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry (Rieffe et al., 2008) show that kids who can identify and label emotions experience fewer behavioral issues and have better social relationships. Emotional vocabulary is also linked to improved problem-solving and empathy, both of which support long-term emotional well-being.
How Parents Can Help Kids Name Feelings
You don’t need a therapy session to start teaching emotional language. Parents can help children learn to name and manage emotions through simple, everyday interactions:
1. Model feeling words out loud.
Use real examples from your own life. Say things like, “I feel frustrated that we’re running late” or “I feel happy when we eat together.” This normalizes emotional expression and helps kids see that all feelings are manageable.
2. Use books and stories.
Children’s stories are a natural way to practice emotional identification. Pause and ask, “How do you think this character feels?” or “What do you think made her sad?” Connecting emotions to storylines helps kids recognize feelings in others and in themselves.
3. Keep a feelings chart visible.
Visual tools like emotion wheels or charts can help younger children connect facial expressions with words. Over time, they begin to point to “angry” or “worried” instead of showing it through behavior.
4. Validate before problem-solving.
When a child says, “I’m mad,” resist jumping to solutions. First, reflect what you hear: “You’re mad because your tower fell.” This helps the child feel understood and reinforces that emotions are safe to express.
5. Play through emotions.
Play is a child’s natural language. Using dolls, puppets, or drawing can help them explore and name feelings in a way that feels less intimidating. Even brief imaginative play can reveal emotions they can’t yet put into words.
Why It Matters
When children have the language to name their feelings, they gain agency over them. Emotional words give structure to internal chaos, helping kids slow down, think clearly, and respond rather than react. Over time, this strengthens emotional regulation and resilience. These are core skills that support healthy relationships and learning.
Families often come to child therapy in San Luis Obispo because their child’s big feelings are overwhelming home routines or school days. Supporting emotional language is one of the simplest, most effective steps toward change. It turns “I don’t know why I did that” into “I was angry and didn’t know what to do.” From there, growth can begin.
Final Thoughts
Teaching kids to name emotions is a powerful way to support emotional development and connection. It helps children feel seen and understood, while giving parents new ways to respond with empathy and guidance. If you notice your child struggling to express or manage strong emotions, therapy can help provide a safe, supportive space to build these skills.
If you’re looking for a child therapist in San Luis Obispo, I offer a warm, non-directive environment where children can explore their inner world through play and connection. Together, we can help your child build the emotional awareness and confidence they need to thrive.
References
Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.
Rieffe, C., et al. (2008). The role of emotional awareness and regulation in children's mental health. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 49(6), 591–600.
Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Why naming emotions helps kids learn to manage them. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/why-naming-emotions-helps-kids-learn-to-manage-them/
