How Play Supports Emotional Regulation

Written By Sara Powers

THe research behind play

a child plays with toys

Play is more than just fun—it’s one of the most effective ways children learn to manage their emotions. Through play, kids explore big feelings, practice problem-solving, and find healthy ways to cope with frustration, sadness, and fear. Emotional regulation isn’t something that comes naturally; it’s a skill that develops over time through experience, connection, and support.

In child therapy, play becomes a powerful tool for helping children make sense of their internal world. It gives them a safe, symbolic language for expressing emotions they can’t yet verbalize.

The Science of Play and Emotional Growth

Research shows that play helps children build the neural pathways responsible for emotional control. According to the American Journal of Play, unstructured play allows children to experience strong emotions in a manageable context—like excitement, disappointment, or anger—while practicing how to recover from them.

The National Institute for Play highlights that play activates the prefrontal cortex, a brain region central to impulse control, planning, and emotional regulation. When children engage in imaginative or social play, they’re rehearsing real-life emotional skills in a safe, low-stakes environment.

Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, a pioneer in play research, found that playful interactions release positive neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals not only elevate mood but also strengthen relationships and help buffer stress responses in the brain.

What Emotional Regulation Looks Like in Play

Children use play to work through emotions long before they can articulate them. You might see:

  • Repetitive themes like loss, rescue, or conflict, reflecting something they’re trying to master emotionally

  • Role reversals, such as pretending to be the “teacher” or “monster,” which help children feel powerful and safe

  • Soothing rituals, like lining up toys or building elaborate worlds, that bring structure to overwhelming feelings

In these moments, play allows kids to externalize what’s internal, giving them control over experiences that once felt too big.

How Parents Can Support Emotional Regulation Through Play

Even outside of therapy, parents can use simple forms of play to help children practice managing emotions:

1. Follow their lead.
Let your child direct the play without correcting or instructing. When adults step back, children naturally gravitate toward the themes that help them process emotion.

2. Name feelings gently.
If you notice frustration during a game, reflect what you see: “That looks really hard, you seem frustrated.” This helps children connect physical sensations and actions to emotional words.

3. Keep playtime unstructured.
Open-ended play materials like blocks, puppets, or art supplies allow children to express themselves more freely than rule-based games.

4. Play alongside them.
Your presence helps regulate your child’s nervous system. When kids play near calm, engaged adults, they learn emotional balance through co-regulation.

5. Be patient with big feelings.
When emotions rise during play, try not to stop it too quickly. These moments are where learning happens. Simply being available and calm helps children learn to self-soothe.

Play Therapy and the Developing Brain

In non-directive play therapy, children use toys as words and play as language. The therapist provides a safe, predictable space where play unfolds naturally. Over time, the child’s inner world becomes more organized, and emotional self-regulation improves.

For families seeking child therapy in San Luis Obispo, play therapy offers a gentle, research-backed approach that supports emotional development without forcing conversation or correction. Through play, children build the self-awareness, flexibility, and confidence they need to handle life’s challenges.

Final Thoughts

Play is a child’s natural way of healing and growing. It teaches emotional balance, resilience, and connection, all through moments that look like simple fun. When we honor play as serious emotional work, we give children the freedom to understand and regulate their feelings in meaningful ways.

If your child struggles with emotional outbursts or has difficulty calming down after stress, therapy can help. In my San Luis Obispo practice, I use child-centered play therapy to support kids in developing strong emotional foundations that last a lifetime.

References

Sara Powers

Sara is a licensed MFT living in her hometown of San Luis Obispo.

https://sarapowerstherapy.com
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