Building Emotional Strength
Helping Kids Cope with Big Feelings
Children experience big emotions, such as anger, sadness, and fear, in ways that can feel overwhelming to both them and the adults in their lives. Learning to cope with these feelings is a critical part of emotional development, and parents play a key role in guiding this process.
In child therapy, we often see that children who struggle to regulate big feelings benefit from safe, structured opportunities to explore emotions. Through play and supportive guidance, kids learn that feelings are manageable and that expressing them is okay.
Why Coping Skills Matter
Strong coping skills help children navigate challenges, recover from setbacks, and build resilience. Research shows that children who can identify and process emotions are less likely to experience chronic stress, anxiety, or behavioral difficulties. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, teaching coping strategies early can improve social interactions, school performance, and overall mental health.
Emotional regulation doesn’t aim to suppress feelings, the focus is on understanding them and learning ways to respond constructively. Children who are supported in this process develop better problem-solving skills, empathy, and confidence.
Tools for Parents to Support Emotional Coping
Parents don’t need to be therapists to help children manage big feelings. Simple strategies, practiced consistently, can make a significant difference:
1. Label feelings.
Help your child put words to their emotions. Instead of saying, “Stop crying,” try, “You look really frustrated right now.” Naming feelings helps children feel understood and begins the process of regulation.
2. Model healthy coping.
When you feel stressed, narrate how you calm yourself: “I’m taking a deep breath to feel calmer.” Children learn by watching how adults manage their own emotions.
3. Provide choices.
Offer safe ways for your child to express emotion, such as drawing, jumping on a trampoline, or squeezing a stress ball. Giving options allows children to engage in regulation in a way that feels empowering.
4. Use play as a tool.
Play is a natural language for children. Role-playing, puppets, or imaginative games can help kids practice coping skills indirectly, reducing anxiety around expressing big feelings.
5. Keep routines predictable.
Stable routines create a sense of safety that makes it easier for children to regulate emotions. Consistency in daily schedules reduces uncertainty and prevents overwhelming stress.
When to Seek Child Therapy
If your child struggles to calm down after emotional outbursts, becomes easily overwhelmed, or has frequent behavioral challenges, therapy can provide additional support. In my role as a child therapist in San Luis Obispo, the aim is for children to explore feelings safely and build the ability to self-regulate with the guidance of a trained play therapist. Non-directive play therapy offers a space where children lead the process, allowing emotions to surface naturally while building skills to manage them effectively.
Final Thoughts
Big feelings are a natural part of childhood, but children need guidance and practice to navigate them successfully. Parents can support emotional growth through labeling feelings, modeling coping strategies, encouraging choice, and using play. When extra support is needed, child therapy provides a safe and effective environment to strengthen emotional resilience and help children feel more in control of their inner world.
Helping children build coping skills now lays the foundation for confident, emotionally healthy adults.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). Supporting children’s emotional development. Retrieved from https://www.aap.org
Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Helping kids handle big emotions. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/helping-kids-handle-big-emotions/
Kaminski, J. W., et al. (2015). Family routines and emotional regulation in children. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 7(2), 151–164.
Psychology Today. (2021). Teaching kids to cope with stress. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shouldstorm/201812/boredomtunity-why-boredom-is-the-best-thing-our-kids
